Sonic Team's Vacation
by Marie the Hedgecat
Summary: My very first fanfic back from the dead! The Sonic characters decide to go to a random field. Insanity soon follows.
1. Chapter 1

Some of the Sonic characters were bored, so they decided to go with me to a random field. This story is about the total insanity that ensued!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Sonic characters. They belong to Sega and Sonic Team. Satoshi Tajiri owns the random Pokemon mentioned, along with the Pokedex and Team Rocket. Also, I do own Marie the hedgecat, my ancient (now completely abandoned) character Umber the hedgehog, and the random chao in this story. Princess Lady Subaru owns Subaru the pheonucat. If you're still reading this, I'm kind of surprised.

Warning: If you don't like random humor or you just like to flame, leave now! Seriously, this thing makes absolutely no sense! Yay for random humour!

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**Chapter one: The Randomness begins!**

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"Dude, why'd we come to a meadow?" Shadow asked. "And why is Marie randomly glomping me?!"

"Because you're so cool, and sweet, and nice, and loyal, and trustworthy, and I love you, and..." Marie started. Before she could finish, Shadow shoved her off of himself. "Oh my gosh! Shadow shoved me! I'll never wash this arm again! Thank you, god, thank you!"

Shadow stepped back in pure terror of his deranged, part cat, part hedgehog fangirl, who was, admittedly, acting a little out of character. Maybe she hadn't gotten enough sleep the night before. Perhaps she was sugar high. Either way, Shadow suddenly looked up and saw a bright, bright light near a tree. "Hey, what's that light?" he asked, pointing to where he looked.

Everyone else looked to where Shadow was pointing and (some of them) knew the light right away. It was Tikal in orb form. Yes, due to a plot hole filled with one percent dirt and ninety nine percent pure deranged confusion, Tikal was back. Tikal then went into her normal non-orb form.

"Hello Knuckles," Tikal greeted kindly. "Chaos wanted me to let you know that he's protecting the Master Emerald for you."

-

Meanwhile, with Chaos 0...

-

Chaos 0 was half lying, half sitting on a couch, watching Sonic X in Japanese. And yes, he was in Knuckles' -now trashed- house.

A random white chao that had large koala ears ran in quickly. "Hey Chaos, aren't you supposed to be protecting the Master Emerald for Knuckles?" she asked.

"Yeah, yeah... in a minute... Right now, I must watch TV!" Chaos explained as he almost fell out of the couch. How he was suddenly able to talk we will never know.

"Why must you watch TV?" the young chao asked, curious about her protector's habits. She was a very curious chao.

"For...uh... Reasons, Snow. For reasons," Chaos explained, honestly having no other reason than the fact that he was feeling very lazy on this particular day.

"Whatever..." Snow (the white chao) sighed. She then joined a chao with bunny ears in a game of run-after-the-ball-and-kick-it.

-

Back to the main plot...

-

"Doesn't Chaos protect, oh, I don't know... _chao_?" Knuckles asked.

"Knuckles, he used to protect the Master Emerald along with the chao." Tikal explained. "So I've come to hang out with all of you today!"

"Okay, let's all glomp Sonic!" Amy exclaimed hyperly. She then glomped Sonic. (No, she gave him a cherry pie... of course she glomped him, silly!)

"Amy...can't...breathe...need...air..." Sonic gasped. "Let...go..."

Now it was Tails' turn to spot something. "Hey, what's that?" Tails asked, pointing to where he was looking. Everyone except for the obsessed Amy looked and saw a random Eevee running towards them.

"Oh my gosh, an Eevee!" Marie squealed happily. She ran to pick it up. "It's so cute!"

"What is it?" Sonic asked, poking the Eevee's head, while thinking;_ "It's fun to poke. Poke...poke...poke...poke... The voice in my head echoes... Poke...poke..."_

Marie randomly grabbed a Pokedex from out of nowhere. "This is a Pokemon called Eevee." Marie explained. "It can become Vaporeon, Flareon, Jolteon, Espeon, or Umbreon." Marie then used the Pokedex to show Eevee's evolved forms to everyone else.

"Do you carry that thing with you everywhere?" Knuckles asked, surprised that any silvery-white hedgecat with brown ears and a brown tail would ever carry a Pokedex with them. " I thought that you didn't like Pokemon."

"Well... I'm still obsessed with Eevee, Vaporeon, Jolteon, Flareon, Espeon, Umbreon, Growlithe, Arcanine, Ivysaur, Wartortle, Togepi, Houndour, Hoppip, Raikou, Pikachu, Sneasel, Absol, Zubat, Ditto, Quilava, Meganium and a few others that I can't remember right now," Marie explained, a smile on her face. She then snapped back into reality. "Why are you all asleep? Don't you want to know about Eevee's evolved forms? Sonic, Vaporeon is blue..."

Sonic then jolted awake and listened to everything that Marie had to say about Vaporeon. This repeated with Tails and Jolteon, Knuckles and Flareon, Amy and Espeon, and Shadow and Umbreon. Tikal woke up to be polite.

"So, isn't Eevee an interesting pokemon?" Marie asked. "And I convieniently have all of its evolution stones right here in my backpack... Well, who wants strawberries?"

"Marie, can I have the Thunder Stone?" Tails asked slyly.

"Hey, this Eevee should choose what she becomes!" Marie objected. "She has five choices, give her time!"

"How do you know it's a girl?" Sonic asked.

"I can understand all things Eevee!" Marie exclaimed, sounding a little deranged. "That and she told me."

"Umbreon sounds cool..." Shadow stated coolly. "Give me the Moon Stone... It must become Umbreon..."

For the only time in world history, Marie backed away from Shadow. "Uh... She deserves to make her own..." Marie started. Everyone else suddenly had chain ropes due to an unexplainable plot hole. " Uhm... What are the chain ropes for?"

"Tie her up!" Amy exclaimed as everyone exept for Tikal and Eevee tied Marie up. "Take the Sun Stone!"

Amy grabbed the Sun Stone. Shadow grabbed the Moon Stone. Knuckles grabbed the Fire Stone. Tails grabbed the Thunder Stone. And Sonic grabbed the Leaf Stone. He then realized his mistake and grabbed the Water Stone. Tikal held the now terrified Eevee.

"Tikal, hand over the Eevee..." Amy demanded, her voice next to demonic. " I must make it become Espeon... It must be cute and psychic..."

"Why not Flareon?" Knuckles asked. "Fire represents power! Power to protect the master emerald!"

"But I need Jolteon!" Tails complained. "It could help provide power for my machines!"

"No, it must be Umbreon!" Shadow disagreed. "Umbreon is dark and mysterious... Mysterious is good!"

"I want Vaporeon!" Sonic argued. " Who cares if it's basically moving water? At least it's blue like me!"

"Guys, Marie was right!" Tikal explained. "This Eevee deserves to make her own decisions!"

_"Must... glomp... Shadow..." _Marie thought. _"Must... become... Espeon... no... Umbreon... no... Espeon... no... Umbreon..."_

-

Meanwhile, with Chaos...

-

Chaos was still inside, watching TV. He was completely oblivious to the world around him. He didn't even notice the fat, egg-shaped man trying to steal the Master Emerald. Nor did he notice the chao epically defending the emerald with random Pokemon attacks, in which I am to lazy to list all seventeen of them. But afterwords, Eggman was sent "Blasting off again!". Because, you know, he's totally a secret Team Rocket member.

-

Back to the main plot...

-

Everyone was still eyeing the little, terrified Eevee, wanting to evolve her into the Pokemon of his or her choosing. Tikal was still defending her and Marie was now glomping Shadow.

"How'd you get out of the chain ropes?" Shadow asked.

"Well, I heard the words 'Let the plot holes be with you...' and then I was free!" Marie explained. "So now I'm free to glomp you for no reason in particular!"

"Marie, let go," Shadow demanded. "I must get to Umbreon... I mean Eevee..." Shadow struggled from Marie's obsessed death glomp and walked back to everyone... With Marie still clinging to his ankle.

Amy pulled out her Piko Piko hammer."Tikal, had over the Eevee..." Amy demanded, her voice still demonic. "I must make her become Espeon!"

A random human walked up to everybody. "Excuse me, but I believe you have my Eevee," she explained politely.

"How do you know it's yours?" Sonic asked.

"Cherry! Come here please!" the human called sweetly. The Eevee jumped into her arms. "That's a good girl!"

"Aww... It already belonged to someone... I wanted to keep her..." Marie sighed sadly.

"Hey, uh... Are you going to evolve that Eevee?" Sonic asked.

"Oh yeah! I forgot! I was going to make her become a Flareon!" the human answered as she held a Fire Stone to Eevee, causing her to become Flareon. "Thanks for reminding me!"

"Yes!" Knuckles cheered. "It became what I wanted it to be!"

"But we don't get to keep her," Tails explained.

"...Dang it!" Knuckles yelled.

The human left with Flareon and muttered something about defeating Team Rocket...

-

Meanwhile, with Chaos...

-

Chaos was still watching TV. "Wow... This is so much better than that crap in English..." he lazily muttered to himself.

A totally normal child chao ran into the room quickly. "Chaos, you idiot!" the chao yelled, standing in front of the TV to get Chaos' attention. "You're supposed to be protecting the Master Emerald for Knuckles, not sitting around watching TV all day!"

"Ashiki, nothing ever happens to the Master Emerald," Chaos explained sleepily. "Oh sure Rouge comes, but she can't lug that heavy rock around. And Eggman wants the _chaos_ emeralds. So it's perfectly safe..."

A young red chao then walked in. "Dude, Eggman almost... Just stole the Master Emerald!" he exclaimed in shock. "Knuckles will be so ticked!"

"See? As I said... Wait... What?!" Chaos asked. " I have to find the Master Emerald right..." He then saw a show about chao come on."... After this show!"

"Chaos, I'm now totaly ashamed to know you..." the red chao sighed.

"Yeah... Saphie, let's just tell the others that we should go without him..." Ashiki explained.

-

Back to the main plot...

-

"Well... that was a bust..." Knuckles complained. "I waned to keep Flareon!"

"Don't worry, we'll find wild Eevee soon enough!" Marie explained cheerfully. "Because, you know, it totally works like that... And then... I can become the Eevee master!"

Everyone looked to their deranged friend and backed away. "Uhm... Yeah, but we've been searching forever!" Sonic complained. "I mean, it's already been, like, seven hours!"

"Sonic, it's only been fifteen minutes," Tails corrected as he looked to his dark orange watch.

"We shouldn't take these poor, innocent Eevee from their home" Tikal explained. "It wasn't fair to the chao and it's not fair to the Eevee."

"Tikal, that was over three thousand years ago." Marie explained. "And it's not like we're going to kill the Eevee and take their home. We're trying to befriend them."

Sonic blinked in confusion. "Befriend?" he asked. "I do not know the meaning of this... _befriend_... of which you speak. I just want Vaporeon because it's blue like me! That makes it cool!"

"Yeah, as cool as fire..." Shadow muttered under his breath. "Besides, I'll befriend my Umbreon... Just like I befriended Maria..." He got very quiet all of a sudden, thinking about his tragic past.

"Why are we looking for Pokemon?" Knuckles asked. "Isn't this a Sonic fic?"

"Yeah, a Sonic-slightly-crossed-over-with-Pokemon fic," Marie explained. "Besides, I'm the one who wrote this, so I command your fates..."

"You're going to pair me and Amy up again, aren't you?" Shadow asked.

"No way, you're mine!" Marie exclaimed as she glomped Shadow like the hopeless fangirl that she is. Even though that makes absolutely no sense, as she only thinks of people as friends and nothing more, but whatever. She gets that way when she has too much sugar sometimes. "Besides, Sonic is a good second choice for her, isn't that right Amy?"

Amy was seen honoring her Shadow shrine which came due to an unexplainable plot hole. "I love you Shadow..." Amy said as though she was chanting. "And now for the sacrifice!" Amy then pulled a Sonic plushie out of her pocket and crushed it with her Piko Piko hammer. "Die Sonic!" (Wow, she is totally not ever so slightly out of character right now!)

"Amy, I'll pay you fifty dollars, after I buy Shadow the Hedgehog, if you pretend to love Sonic for the rest of the fanfic," Marie bribed. She was not aware of how horrible the aforementioned game really was. What a waste of money.

"... I love you Money! ... I mean... Sonic!" Amy squealed fangirl-style. Amy then glomped Sonic around the throat so that he couldn't breathe. " You could say that I love you to death..."

"Amy, don't kill him!" Marie yelled.

"Yeah... Not without me!" Shadow added as he ran in to beat the crap out of Sonic.

"It's so pathetic that they're using violence," Tails sighed as he, Marie, Knuckles, and Tikal stepped back.

"I know," Knuckles agreed. "I mean, who uses a hammer and chaos energy to beat someone up? Fists are the way to go!" And with that, Knuckles ran in to beat Sonic up.

"They are all pathetic, right Marie?" Tails asked.

"Oh my gosh, an Absol!" Marie exclaimed with happiness. "I'm so happy!" Marie then captured Absol in a friend ball. "Hey, look! A bird! And look over there! A grass blade!"

"Tails... does she seem a little... bizarre... to you?" Tikal asked, trying to be as polite as possible.

"Tikal, this is Marie on a normal, albeit slightly out of character day," Tails explained. "You haven't seen her when she's hyper."

"Hey, look! They're beating up Sonic!" Marie finally realized. "Can I have some popcorn?"

"Marie... you're strange..." Tails muttered quietly.

-

Around six hours later...

-

"I can't believe it took them six hours to calm down..." Tails sighed.

"What's wrong with the world today?" Tikal asked sadly, shaking her head.

"Humans kill and pollute everything," Marie explained. "That's what's wrong with... Hey look! A butterfly!"

"So basically, you're saying Eggman's evil?" Shadow asked.

"Hunh? Oh, yeah!" Marie confirmed. "...Ooh, a bumble bee! Hi there little bumble bee! My name is Marie! Hee hee, that rhymes!"

Suddenly, Sally the demon chipmunk walked up to everyone. (Archie comic Sally, not the wonderfully amazing SatAM Sally.) Marie glared at the slutty chipmunk and was surrounded in a red aura. She then randomly became a brown hedgehog with gray streaks in her quills. She had become the hedgehog known as Umber. Well, maybe not _known_ seeing as she's merely a scrapped fan character, but you get the point. Because all of this totally makes sense.

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Behind the scenes...

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"Wait, pause!" Knuckles yelled, watching this fanfic like a DVD.

"What is it Knuckles?" Marie asked, tilting her ears in curiosity. She was now slightly more in character, curled up on a bean bag chair, sipping on a cup of tea.

"Marie and Umber are from two different stories," Knuckles explained. "And you scrapped Umber before even using her. So how could Marie possibly become Umber?"

"Knuckles, this is a totally senseless fanfic filled with plot holes," Marie explained. "Anything is possible. If I wanted, it could rain cupcakes, the sky would be black and gray, and flowers would use chaos control."

"...Wait...What?" Knuckles asked.

-

Back to the story...

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"Hi Sonic!" Sally greeted in her sweet as lemons voice. God, I hate her.

"How'd it find me?!" Sonic asked in terror, dropping to his knees dramatically. "Why did this have to happen to me?!"

"Chaos Raze!" Umber shouted, using a very generic, Mary-Sue sounding "attack". Sally was suddenly surrounded in a black smoke and an explosion was heard. When the smoke cleared, Sally was gone. No one has seen or heard from her since. Thank goodness.

Umber was surrounded in a blue aura and became... the queen of England! Just kidding, she became Marie again! "Hey guys, what's up?" Marie asked in her usual hyper voice.

Everyone stared at Marie as though she was insane. "Uh... What the hell just happened?" Sonic asked.

"Marie, do you have a split personality, by any chance?" Tails asked in fear. "A really "Jekyll and Hyde"-esque split personality?"

Marie looked inocently to the ground. "Possibly..." she muttered quietly. "Eh... heh heh heh..."

"Wait, you didn't know?" Shadow asked. "She gets like that every time she sees a stupid, psychotic, or Mary-Sue creating fangirl. Or if she sees someone she hates, 'cause, you know, Marie totally hates people. She did that to Chris last week."

-

Behind the scenes...

-

"How... inaccurate... is that..." Sonic commented.

"What?" Marie asked. "What do you mean?"

"Marie and Umber are two different people!" Tails butted in.

"But this is my story!" Marie complained. "I control everyone's fates. I could make the forests be made of... of... Macaroni!"

"...Macaroni?" Tails and Sonic asked in unison.

"Yes. Macaroni," Marie confirmed.

-

Back to the main plot...

-

"Hey, let's get chilie dogs to celebrate Chris' awesome death!" Sonic suggested, pleased at the loss of his creepy stalker fanboy. God, that kid creeps me out. Marie's red aura appeared again. "What'd I say?"

"Sonic, do the words 'She's a vegetarian you idiot!' ever cross through your thick, stupid skull?!" Shadow asked angrily, in fear of Marie becoming Umber again and destroying more people with her generic, Mary-Sue attack. "Hey Marie, why don't we all go out for strawberries and tofu?"

Marie's red aura of evil left and she was all happy again. "Alright! Let's all go now! Or else!" Marie threatened. Marie skipped away happily with everyone following in pure fear. "Ooh... Hey look! A large chunk of the forest is made of candy!"

"Marie, that's redicul... Oh my word..." Tails muttered.

A huge chunk of the forest really was made of candy. The grass was lime jell-o. The clouds were cotton candy. The bushes were mint candy. The trees were candy canes. The flowers were gumdrops. The water was strawberry milk. The hills were all kinds of different icecreams. and lastly, the sky was chocolate milk. How it stayed in the air, nobody knows.

"It's like a candy version of heaven, only better!" Marie cheered happily. "I'm going to eat a tree!"

"Wait! This must be a trap set up by that creep Eggman!" Sonic warned. "It could be extremely dangerous to enter!"

"Not as dangerous as I'll be if you don't shut up, you candy-hating psycho!" Amy threatened as she held her Piko Piko hammer threateningly close to Sonic's head. "Now let's go eat candy!"

Everyone except for the paranoid Sonic ran into the candy forest. And then they saw it... a giant apple. An atop that apple was Subaru the pheonucat, eating a smaller apple. Because, you know, apples are totally candy.

"Mmm... Apples are yummy..." Subaru muttered. "I love apples..."

"Uhm... Who's that?" Knuckles asked.

"Oh, that's my friend Subaru!" Marie exclaimed. "Hi Subaru!"

"My apples!" Subaru yelled evilly as she held her apples closer to herself. "They're all mine!"

Everyone exept for Marie stepped back in fear.

"... Hey, let's all go eat non-apple stuff!" Marie suggested to everyone except Subaru.

And so everyone exept for Subaru and the overly paranoid Sonic went to eat parts of the strange candy forest.

_"This is all a trap." _Sonic thought, staring at everyone who was eating the candy forest. _"My mind voice echoes... hee hee... I like pink fluffy bunnies with a lot of ribbons..."_

Everyone stared at Sonic in terror.

"Oh shit, I was thinking out loud!" Sonic realized.

Marie walked up to Subaru. "Hi Subaru!" Marie greeted happily. "Guess what? I had strawberry pop tarts for breakfast! I love strawberries! They are yummy!"

Subaru stared at Marie in fear. Marie was still talking... and talking... and talking... Subaru's eyes felt droopy but she kept them open to protect her apples. _"She won't shut up..." _Subaru thought. _"I have to get out of this... But how?" _Her eyes widened in fear of Marie never shutting up. Subaru then grabbed a dog's squeaky toy that was shaped like a strawberry and threw it behind Marie.

Marie looked to the toy, then to Subaru, and then to the toy again. She then jumpped off of the giant apple as though she was a cat and grabbed the toy in her mouth, popping it with her small fangs.

Subaru walked up to Marie. Marie dropped the flattened toy at Subaru's feet. "Strawberry taste bad..." Marie sighed sadly. "Strawberry go pop..."

Everyone stared at Marie as though she was the ultimate psychopath. "And you all thought that I was weird?" Subaru asked. "Pitiful."

"Ni? Hey look! I said a word with no real meaning!" Marie realized. "Hee hee..." Marie stood up and stared at everybody. "I like clouds!"

"Marie, you're crazed," Sonic stated. "You need mental attention. Tails, grab the straight jacket!"

Tails suddenly had a straight jacket in his hands. Marie, being half hyper and half paranoid of restraints, ran away screaming, "The cinnamon has come to eat our heads! I wanna keep my head! Save me, somebody save me!"

"We're going to need a better straight jacket..." Shadow suggested. "We need to make a plan to capture Marie!"

And so everyone except for Marie and Subaru started on a plan to capture Marie. Marie was still spazzing in the background and Subaru was eating her apples in peace.

The End...

Of chapter one...

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A/N: Yes, I am aware that Eevee evolves into Espeon and Umbreon based on friendship and the time of day in which it evolves, but using the Sun and Moon Stones worked better for this fic.


	2. Chao!

Disclaimer: I do not own Sega or Sonic Team. I do however own the chao in this fanfic (they live on my Memory Cards), Marie the hedgecat, Umber the hedgehog, and Esplouge. And Princess lady Subaru still owns Subaru the phoenucat. And Kai is from a show that I can not currently remember the title of.

Special note: Originally, instead of Esplouge, I had a different character in here named Meccha. I decided to change it because Meccha has been completely redesigned since I first posted this and it seemed kind of weird to have him in here now, considering the redesign. So instead, enjoy a toned down version of my incredibly homicidal character Esplouge!

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**Chapter two: Chao Chaos: Part One**

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Everyone except for Subaru had gone to the neutral chao garden to raise chao for no real reason other than the fact that I like chao. Subaru had to leave so she could go stalk Kai...

"Hey, let's get chao!" Marie exclaimed hyperly. "I want a chao!" Marie then raced around the chao garden hyperly. "Chao!"

Everyone stared at their psychopathic friend. "Okay Tikal, now she's hyper," Tails explained.

"I can... see that..." Tikal agreed in terror of the hyper hedgecat. Tikal then backed away from Marie.

"Aww... Having a chao sounds fun!" Amy stated. "We can name them, love them, teach them stuff..."

"Teach them stuff?" Shadow asked, his interest suddenly caught. "Teach them..."

Shadow's mind was racing with the stuff that you could teach chao. Running fast, teleporting, playing tricks... forming a chao gang... Shadow smirked at the thought and laughed silently to himself. Upon seeing this, everyone but Marie backed away. Marie had just found a large group of chao eggs that were just waiting to be hatched and loved. Because chao eggs totally appear in random clusters like that.

"Eggs!" Marie yelled to everyone else. When everyone stared, Marie added, "I found chao eggs!"

Everyone ran up at one time and shoved Marie out of the way. They all hatched their own eggs and had new little chao to raise.

Tails' chao was brown. Tails named his chao Conan, after Conan from Detective Conan/Case Closed.

Shadow's chao was black. Shadow named his chao Raze, because the word "raze" is cool.

Knuckles' chao was gray. Knuckles named his chao Altar, after the altar (aka shrine) for the master emerald. He is totally not obsessed.

Sonic's chao was blue (big surprise...). Sonic named his chao Chaeic. Chaeic is a mix of chaos emerald and Sonic. See? Cha(os) e(merald) (Son)ic.

Amy's chao was light purple. She named her chao Amia. Again, Am(y) (Mar)ia.

Tikal's chao was shiny and brown. Tikal named her chao Maya. Don't ask why if you don't have a guess. It should be obvious anyway.

Lastly (I bet you couldn't wait for this) Marie got a translucent (aka transparent) chao. Marie named her see-through chao Waves because you can sort of see through the chao and you can sort of see through water.

"Oh Raze, how much I can teach you..." Shadow muttered to his chao. "Do you see that blue chao?" Raze then nodded to confirm that he saw Chaeic. "That chao is your enemy, as Sonic is mine. When your speed and power raise, you'll beat him up, okay?" Raze then nodded again.

Knuckles and Altar then walked up to Shadow and Raze. "Shadow, Altar wants to hang out with Raze." Knuckles explained. "I think Altar wants to be Raze's friend or something."

Altar and Raze stared at each other for a few moments. "You wanna be in my gang?" Raze asked. Altar nodded and they both smirked, glaring at Chaeic.

Raze was suddenly glomped by Amia. "I love the world!" Amia exclaimed. "Share the love Altar!" Amia then ran after Altar (who was running away screaming) and glomped him. "Share the love!"

Amy walked up to the now horrified Shadow and Knuckles."Hi guys!" Amy greeted. "Amia is so sweet, isn't she? Look at how cute she is, glomping Waves and Chaeic at the same time! Isn't she the cutest?" Amy then realised that she was squeeze hugging Shadow and Knuckles so hard that they couldn't breathe. "Oops... Sorry!" Amy then let go.

"Amy, your stupid chao is glomping Chaeic!" Sonic yelled. "Get it off!"

"First off, she's a she, not an it!" Marie started. "Second off, chao are not stupid! And third off...! Can you get her to release Waves, please?"

"Uhm... She's only hugging Chaeic and an armful of air," Sonic said having trouble seeing the transparent chao.

"Sonic, her chao is translucent, he's see through!" Amy explained as she walked up to them. "Don't you see that shiny blob right there?"

"Oh!" Sonic realized. "That explains the extra floaty ball! And the extra eyes, and the extra wings..."

"Sonic, we get it!" Marie exclaimed.

Amia released Chaeic and Waves. "I'm sorry for crushing your wind pipes" Amia apologized. "I just wanted you to share the love!"

Waves and Chaeic ran behind Marie and Sonic and hid behind their legs.

"I will start with domination of these gardens..." Maya started. "Then I will move on to the world!"

Tikal had climbed up a tree to escape from Maya. _"I'm scared," _Tikal thought. _"This chao is demonic..."_

-

Meanwhile, with Chaos...

-

"Maybe if I sit here long enough, I won't have to go look for the master emerald..." Chaos muttered to himself as a random commercial about cheese came on the TV.

-

Meanwhile, with the chao...

-

A few of the chao were on a search for Eggman and the master emerald. They all had little backpacks with random stuff.

A golden Sonic chao had packed speed boots in his red backpack. His name, Goldee, was written on the side of his backpack.

A chao that was part lion had packed floatation devices for the chao who couldn't swim. His backpack was sky blue and had his name, Leo, written on the back.

A NiGHTS chao had packed mushrooms in her adorable dark purple backpack. Her name, Luna, was written towards the top.

A green-gray Shadow chao had a black and silver backpack that concealed anti gravity boots. Sting, his name, was written in red towards the top of his backpack.

A red chao had packed speed boots in his ocean blue backpack. His name, Saphie, was written towards the bottom.

Snow (the white koala chao from earlier, in chapter one) packed chao fruit in her silvery white backpack with her name written on the side.

Lastly (I bet you're exited that this list is over) a baby chao packed boxing gloves to beat up Eggman with in her white backpack. Her name, Ashiki, was written on the back. No, her name has no real meaning. I was feeling quite random when I named her that.

All of them were walking around in Station Square. "Did anybody bring the map?" Goldee asked.

-

Back to the main plot...

-

"Hey, maybe we should bring our chao to the kindergarden so they can learn," Tails suggested.

"That's a great idea!" Amy agreed.

"Yeah!" Tikal agreed cheerfully, while thinking, _"If it'll get this demon away from me..."_

"Raze wants to be a rebel!" Shadow objected. Everyone looked to Raze and Altar. Both of them had black leather jackets with the words 'Chao Gang' written in red letters on the back. Because black and red together is so totally badass.

"Okay then..." Sonic muttered quietly.

"Aww... They're so cute!" Marie squealed fangirl style.

"Raze, Altar... Share the love!" Amia squealed loudly as she glomped Raze and Altar.

"Get it off me!" Altar screamed. "Get it off!"

"I... can't... breathe..." Raze gasped." Get...off of us... purple demon..."

"Hey, if there's going to be a demon in here, it's going to be me!" Maya exclaimed. Everyone stared at her as though she was a psycopath. "I mean... I like cherry pie and icecream!"

"Anyway, it's setteled, let's take them to learn!" Sonic declared.

And so they took their chao (even the rebellious Raze, Altar, and Maya) to the classroom.

All of the chao were seated, ready to learn. When they saw the teacher, they all freaked. It was none other than...

"Hi! I'm Omochao! I'm here to... insert word appropriate to situation here... teach you!" the robotic menace greeted. He was reading off of a messily written script. "It's time to learn how to annoy everyone around you!"

"Amia will be good at this..." Raze muttered to his gang.

"Dude, Amia should _teach_ this," Altar commented quietly.

Maya sat tensely in her seat, her left eye twitching. _"Must... destroy... Omochao..." _she thought._ "Must... not have... witnesses..."_

Amia raised her hand. "Uhm... Mister Omochao? Is Maya alright?" Amia asked.

"Did you know that Pumpkin Hill has pumpkins?" Omochao asked stupidly. "Isn't that amazing?"

"Oh yeah..." Conan agreed sarcastically. "I thought that Pumpkin Hill would have deranged ninja monkeys. Thank you ever so much for enlightening us on this most important fact."

"I thought Pumpkin Hill would have ninja monkeys, too!" Omochao agreed, not recognizing sarcasm. "You get an S!"

"Omo-genius, an S isn't a school related grade," Conan explained. "An A+ is the S rank equivalent."

Omochao's brain started to short circuit from hearing actual facts.

-

Later...

-

"Is the coast clear?" Altar asked. They had all tied up the robotic annoyance and were attempting to throw him into a river.

A brownish red fox suddenly approached them. "Hey, you little creatures shouldn't be playing with this garbage by this river," he scolded, sounding as though he honestly didn't care. A Chaos Spear-esque projectile suddenly shot from his arm, destroying the robot menace from the depths of Hades.

"Mister fox, you're my new best friend!" Maya declared as she hugged the fox's legs. "You're the coolest!"

"Oh great, now I'm stuck babysitting all of you," the fox sighed to himself. "Just perfect..."

He then realised that Amia was riding on one of his tails, Conan was holding on to his left leg, Chaeic was holding on to his right leg, Waves was hanging on his left arm, Altar was hanging on his right arm, Raze was hanging on his neck, and Maya was sitting on top of his head, swishing his bangs playfully.

"Why is my life so screwed up?" the fox asked himself. "Why?"

-

With the adventuring chao...

-

Everyone had just gotten back to Station Square after leaving to get a map.

"Okay, about the map... Where do we go?" Sting asked. He was running around in his anti gravity shoes. "Whee!"

"Sting, calm down!" Luna yelled.

"I think my shoes are busted," Sting explained. "I can't control my shoes! I'm gonna crash! Watch out!"

Saphie and Goldee put on their speed boots and ran after their out of control friend.

-

Behind the scenes...

-

"Wait, this is supposed to be about us!" Sonic complained. "This story is becoming completely overrun by chao!"

Marie was gazing at the sky, wich is weird because they were in a building with a roof. "Tails chao have super cute ears..." Marie randomly stated.

"Seriously, we deserve to be in this story!" Knuckles explained. "We're being overrun by chao!"

Chaos walked in and stood at the doorway, with everyone staring at him. "Uhm... Hi, have you seen the Master Emerald...?" Chaos started. "Oh! Hi Knuckles!

"What was that about my emerald?" Knuckles asked suspiciously.

"Uhm... Oh, it's just fine!" Chaos lied. "Everything's just peachy! Couldn't be better! ... I'm going to go now!"

Chaos then attempted to run away, only to realize that his speed was virtually nonexistent. "Curse my slowness!" Chaos yelled.

-

Back to the character's chao...

-

After the hyped up chao calmed down, the fox brought them back to the kindergarden. Again, the chao were sitting in their chairs, eager to learn.

"Okay, since I'm the only one to watch you all now, I guess I'm stuck here..." the fox sighed. "And since we don't know each other, why don't we all ask each other questions?"

"Mister fox, what's your name?" Amia asked hyperly.

"My name is Esplouge," the fox explained. "Next question?"

"Can you run fast?" Chaeic asked.

"No," Esplouge answered bluntly. "Next question?"

"Why is the sky blue?" Amia asked.

"I have no idea." Esplouge admitted. "Next question?"

"Why is the grass green?" Amia asked.

"Why should I even care?" Esplouge asked, feeling slightly annoyed. "Does anybody other than the purple psychopathic one have an actual question with any point?"

"About how long would it take for me to dominate the world?" Maya asked.

"Okay... You're deranged..." Esplouge muttered. "Now, I'll ask you all a question that I want the brown guy to answer. What are your names?"

"My name is Conan," Conan explained. "The blue chao is Chaeic, the gray chao is Altar, the shiny brown chao is Maya, the black chao is Raze, the purple chao is Amia, and the translucent chao is Waves."

"And when will your guardians come back?" Esplouge asked while writing everyone's name and colour on a notepad. Because he totally carries a random notepad and a pen around with him.

"I don't know, maybe a few hours?" Conan guessed.

"Okay, wait here for a second," Esplouge said while walking outside of the room and gently closing the door.

-

Two seconds later...

-

"I HATE MY LIFE!" Esplouge yelled. He then took a deep breath and walked back into the room calmly and sighed, "I'm okay..."

"We must make the cool guy's life better!" Maya exclaimed. "He's to cool to ignore!"

_"Why does that weird little creature act like she idolises me?" _Esplouge wondered, slightly concerned.

"How do we make your life better?" Conan asked.

"Share the love!" Amia squealed as she jumped up and gave Esplouge a squeeze hug around the throat. Perhaps she is a closeted homicidal maniac.

"Can't... breathe..." Esplouge managed to say.

-

What insanity will ensue? Why am I, the authoress, asking you, the readers? Find out in the next episode of Transformers, Super Link! I mean in the next chapter of Sonic Team's Vacation! (Seriously though, Super Link rocks in Japanese!)

To Be CoNtInUeD!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Yes, after like, five years, I finally brought this thing back from the dead! Be prepared for more insanity-induced chaos in the form of a strange little fanfic!

Disclaimer: The same as the first two chapters.

-

Chapter Title Here

-

Sonic put the entire fic on pause before chapter three could even begin.

"Esplouge is here?" he asked, confused, concerned, and downright ticked off. "You're actually including that horrible, homicidal little monster in a fic that was meant to be read by people who are expecting random humor?! What on earth is wrong with you?!"

Marie, who was still sitting on her bean bag chair from chapter one, just stared at the paused television screen, confused as to why it had stopped playing the silly fanfic.

"TV stop working..." Marie muttered sadly. "I am sad..."

"Seriously, Marie," Shadow added, trying to jar the hyper hedgecat from her thoughts. "Why on earth would you have included him? And why haven't any of us brought it up until this very moment? He appeared in the last chapter for goodness sakes!"

"Well, Meccha was originally in here, but that doesn't work anymore because I redesigned him a while ago," Marie explained. "So he needed a replacement..."

"Why couldn't you have used Kal?" Sonic asked, referring to another unused fan character. "At least he's not criminally insane!"

"I'm not _that_bad," Esplouge defended, suddenly in the room with them, sitting between Tails and Marie.

"When the hell did you get here?!" Shadow asked, surprised at how Esplouge of all people could have sneaked... snuck... sneaked... in unnoticed.

"I've been here the whole f... I mean, I've been here the entire time," Esplouge explained, censoring himself for once just for the younger readers and readers who do not wish for this fic to suddenly have a T rating for language. "You just didn't notice me because of my ninja-like skills."

"Wow... That totally wasn't out of character," Knuckles commented. "Is he sugar high or something?"

"Nah, I just toned him down for the sake of humor," Marie explained. "Violent, in-character Esplouge would have changed the entire fic. So he's calm now."

"Okay..." Sonic agreed, glancing suspiciously at the brownish red fox before allowing the fic to finally resume.

-

With the adventuring chao...

-

Sting's malfunctioning speed shoes finally ran out of life a few hours after they had initially malfunctioned. The green-gray chao collapsed onto the ground, more exhausted than he had ever been in his entire life. Luna took off his speed boots just in case they could randomly spring back to life.

"Well, that was kind of a waste of time..." the NiGHTS chao mumbled under her breath. "What should we do now?"

Leo, the part lion chao, shrugged.

"Well, Chaos could be finished watching TV and out to search for the emeralds, but we all know how incredibly slow he is..."

"We should probably keep searching," Snow, the part koala chao explained. "After all, we all know how pathetic Eggman is at hiding himself."

"Yeah, it's like we could turn around and his base would be right behind us," Saphie, the red chao commented sarcastically.

"Uh... Guys..." Ashiki, the oddly named, newly evolved dark type chao interrupted, pointing behind them all.

All of the chao turned around to look and saw that Saphie's sarcastic remark had come true. Eggman's cleverly disguised ("Totally Not Eggman's Base. Really. This Building Is An Extension Of Burger King.") base was right behind them.

"Wow... Saphie, it's like you have neat-o sarcasm powers!" Goldee commented. "Do you think you can get the Master Emerald back for us?"

"Uh... It's totally not like the Master Emerald is right behind us," Saphie commented, trying to force himself to be sarcastic.

The little chao looked behind themselves, sad to see that the Master Emerald wasn't there.

"Great, now we have to get it back the old fashioned way..." the group sighed simultaneously.

-

With Esplouge and the other group of chao...

-

"... 'Kay, so what do you little creatures like to do?" Esplouge asked, honestly not caring. He wanted to get away from them, but something inside him knew he couldn't just abandon the poor, defenseless creatures. If something happened to them, Chaos would most certainly come after him, and he was not willing to let that happen.

"We were just born, like, two hours ago," Waves, Marie's translucent chao, explained. "All we know is... Well, Raze and Altar started a mini chao gang, and Maya's... slightly mad... And Amia, as you experienced earlier, likes to hug people's wind pipes until they nearly pass out... And Conan's really smart. But other than that, we don't know practically anything."

Esplouge just stared at them.

"You little things can have _gangs_?" he asked, genuinely concerned. "That's a little messed up."

"And the fact that _you_of all people are in a humor fic?" Conan countered. "That isn't messed up?"

Esplouge considered the chao's words for a moment.

"True," Esplouge finally agreed after a few minutes of thought.

-

Behind the scenes...

-

"Wait a sec, what the heck are we doing while all of this is happening?" Sonic asked suddenly.

"What do you mean?" Marie asked.

"We haven't been doing anything in this fic, save for these constant little interruptions," Tails explained. "What are we supposed to be doing while all of this stuff is happening with the chao?"

"Hmm... You guys have a good point," Marie agreed, suddenly deep in thought. There had to be some reserve creative space in her brain to explain what the anthromorphic critters were doing at the time all of the chao related things were happening. She then decided that trying to force her creative juices wasn't working, so she poked Esplouge, who had fallen asleep.

"What do you want...?" Esplouge asked sleepily, irritated with being woken up from his first sleep in weeks.

"Eppy, what should they be doing while you're watching their chao?" Marie asked, completely oblivious to Esplouge's annoyance.

"I don't know," Esplouge explained, rolling over in his bean bag chair, trying to face away from the hyper hybrid that was still poking him.

"Well, why and when did we leave the candy forest?" Amy asked. "That seems a little weird. Maybe we should go back there...?"

Marie stared blankly for a moment.

"... Good idea!!"

-

Back to our main plot where, let's face it, nothing makes any sense anymore...

-

Marie laid on a fluffy, pink, cotton candy cloud, regardless of the fact that she had no way to get up there in the first place and the fact that she should have been drowning in the chocolate milk sky. Tikal and Tails took tentative nibbles of the mint candy bushes, while Knuckles, Amy, Sonic, and Shadow relaxed on the lime jell-o grass.

"I'm going to have to study this place sometime," Tails commented through a mouthful of mint candy. "The fact that there's an uncharted candy forest this close to civilizatioin requires some extensive research..."

"How did Marie get up there?" Amy asked, looking up to where Marie was attempting to swim in the chocolate milk sky. Marie fell through the sky and landed on the jell-o, taking absolutely no damage.

"Hi, guys!" Marie greeted, seeming to have forgotten that they had been there. "I guess I can't swim in chocolate milk, either! Ha ha!"

"Seriously, how on earth does that sky stay up?" Sonic asked, staring at the sky with a puzzled expression.

"Maybe... Maybe we're really in space on a strange and delicious planet that Eggman created to occupy us while he brings about total destruction to the world..." Marie suggested. "And right now, the Master Emerald has been stolen by the evil Doctor Eggman or Robotnik or whatever he goes by these days, and the chao Chaos was supposed to be guarding are all on a mission to find the emerald before Eggman can unleash his latest and greatest scheme at world domination, and our chao are being watched by a homicidal maniac that's acting strangely benign, and..."

"Wait a sec," Sonic interrupted. "None of that makes any sense. First of all, how can this be a separate planet if we _walked_ here?"

"Yeah, and why would Eggman even distract us with a candy planet?" Shadow added.

"And the way you said that "evil Doctor Eggman" bit sounded like something out of a screwed up game manual," Tails explained.

"And why would Chaos take his eyes off of the Master Emerald for even a second if he's supposed to be watching it?" Knuckles added.

"And why would Chaos allow those poor, innocent chao to go out on a dangerous mission like that?" Tikal asked.

"And..." Amy began.

"Alright, alright, I get it!" Marie exclaimed. "I was just being silly. None of that stuff could possibly happen..."

-

With the adventuring chao...

-

The chao somehow managed to break into Eggman's base with almost no difficulty. They unanimously agreed that Eggman's "Base Defense Fund" had run low.

"So, what do we do now?" Leo asked, looking around the over-sized, almost entirely empty building nonchalantly.

"Well, we need to get the Master Emerald back for Knuckles," Snow explained. "So we need to locate it and somehow bring it back to Angel Island, regardless of the fact that it's way too heavy for us to carry let alone fly away with it."

"... Think we could break it and carry up the shards?" Saphie offered, looking for an easy way out. Luna thumped him on the back of the head.

"It's a magical jewel that can somehow keep an entire island afloat regardless of the fact that that makes absolutely no sense," the NiGHTS chao explained. "I'm sure it can randomly be extremely easy to carry when it's convenient for us."

"Okeedokee," Saphie agreed.

"So... where is it?" Leo asked. "This place has, like, fourty-thousand over-sized rooms. Do you really think we have the time to search all of them?"

"We could really use a Knuckles chao..." Goldee muttered thoughtfully. "You know, 'cause Knuckles has the ability to sense the Master Emerald..."

"... That was terrible," Luna commented.

-

With Esplouge and the chao

-

Esplouge was sitting in the middle of the floor, reading a story to the chao that were circled around him. The small creatures listened with interest, regardless of the fact that Esplouge was reading the entire thing as if he were a monotone robot. Yes, the plot of the unnamed story was _that_ interesting.

-

Back to the adventuring chao...

-

The chao looked and looked for the Master Emerald, searching high and low for all of fifteen minutes.

"That was faster than I was expecting," Luna commented.

The small group had found themselves in a large room that seemed to be... unnecessarily large. Most of it was empty space and in the middle of it, there was the Master Emerald, glistening with its emerald coloured beauty.

"So... That's it?" Leo asked. "No robots? No Eggman? There's absolutely nothing to stop us?"

"I... guess," Snow said as she looked around, trying to find some hidden camera or defensive something or other.

"But that's so boring!" Goldee complained. "I'm a Sonic chao! I have to heroically save the day from Eggman! It's in my blood!"

"... That's inaccurate," Luna interrupted. "Chao have been around for thousands and thousands of years. I find it hard to believe that you are in any way related to a teenaged hedgehog."

"... He hatched my egg," Goldee began, "does that count?"

"Uh... Not to interrupt or anything, but don't you think we should be getting the Master Emerald back to Angel Island?" Saphie asked. "I mean, what if Eggman comes and tries to stop us?"

"... Then we have Leo kick his arse while we haul tail out of here," Goldee replied.

"Why would I have to stall him?" Leo asked.

"Because you're the strongest," Goldee explained. "All of your stats are at ninety nine, aren't they?"

"I'm just a _chao_!" Leo argued. "I'm good at the karate and the racing deals, but I hardly think I'd be able to hold back robots! ... Well, maybe Omochao, but I don't think Eggman uses those."

"Uh... Excuse me..."

"Why wouldn't Eggman use Omochao?" Goldee asked, ignoring the man that was now standing in the doorway. "I though Eggman liked torturing people with his long winded rants. Omochao's prefect for filling in space if he forgets what he's going to say."

"What the heck are you little creatures doing in my top secret base?!" Eggman asked.

All of the chao startled. Saphie threw a Pokeball at Eggman as a reflex.

"What the heck?" Luna asked. "Pokeballs only work on Pokemon, you...!"

Strangely enough, the Pokeball somehow worked and Eggman was successfully captured. The group of chao stared, comepletely bewildered for a moment, before actually going over to the Pokeball that now lay on the ground.

"What on earth...?" Luna began to ask.

"I swear I don't remember seeing him in Pokemon Gold..." Goldee muttered to himself.

"Does anyone have a Pokedex?" Sting asked.

Snow randomly pulled a Pokedex out of her backpack, regardless of not actually packing one. See how fun plot holes can be?

"Uh... Let's see..." Snow muttered, pressing buttons on her Pokedex at random.

The Pokedex made a _ping_ sound before speaking. If you can call it that.

"Eggman Robotnik, the Egg Pokemon," the Pokedex explained. "The preevolution of Exeggcute. Like Magnamite and Diglett, a cluster of these extremely rare Pokemon causes evolution to take place."

"Wait... So Eggman... There's more of him?!" Luna asked, very confused.

"... So _that's_how he builds his bases so fast!" Saphie exclaimed. "There are more of him to build his bases and robots. It all makes sense now..."

"... I like Exeggcute...." Ashiki, the extremely talkative chao that no one could have _possibly _forgotten about, commented. "Let's go find more Eggman!"

"But what about the Master...?" Snow began to ask.

All of the other chao left before the white koala chao could finish. Snow sighed and turned back to the large emerald.

"... I can't even fly! How the heck am I going to bring this back to Angel Island on my own?!"


End file.
